It may not make it on to the best-seller list this Christmas but a Government manual offering advice on how to tell if someone is drunk could prove one of the more humorous offerings of the festive season.
From looking out for staggering or “dishevelled” pub-goers to listening for “rambling conversation” and offensive language, the Home Office publication covers it all in minute detail. The guide is being issued to thousands of police officers who will work undercover in pubs and clubs this Christmas to catch bar staff who sell alcohol to inebriated customers.
Other tell-tale signs of drunkenness, according to the guide, include being “careless with money”, exhibiting inappropriate sexual behaviour, offensive language, bumping into furniture, spilling drinks and drinking quickly or competitively, “i.e down in one”. Drunkenness may also cause a loss of train of thought, difficulty in paying attention, “not understanding what is said”, glassy eyes or lack of focus.
Idiot of the day 
The best way to spot a drunk is the wait outside a bar… and if you still can’t spot a drunk then your an idiot.